Technically the Twentieth

Technically... 'cause it's past midnight.

I am finding that one of the most challenging aspects of being a father is making time for myself whilst making time for my Son, Felix.

I'm sure that I am not the first one to come to this conclusion or face this conundrum. 

I still made the time to enjoy myself today, but it was mere moments ago when I finally arrived home after a full day of playing with Felix, work, and helping a friend get some new furniture.

Having the time at the end of the day has proven to be grand. Instead of letting my mind re-watch the whole day and process everything that happened, I was allowed the moment to let myself enjoy my self.

I allowed myself that moment. What a gift...!

I feel that I can process myself better in the evening. OR maybe it is just a nice change of pace to the morning.

I think I can fit ten minutes in a day from now on.

Five in the morning.

Five at night.

Ten minutes with myself.

Will.  Do.

-Gerry

Day the Sixteenth

I had to count how many days I have been doing this in relation to my last post.

It has become such a blur that it feels like I have always been giving myself time.

But I know that I've been doing this for (only) over two weeks now. And I am so pleased with the results.

Work has been so crazy the past few days that I didn't make the time to post.

I will work on that, because I enjoy the time that I take to write in this everyday. I love to write as much as I've been enjoying this meditation.

I haven't been able to do ten minutes since that one day I tried... But I shall keep trying to push it to 8 minutes and beyond!

I hope you all, whoever is reading this, may be able to achieve the enjoyment of time with yourself.

I hope that it helps you find peace as much as it has been helping me.

Be Well,
-Gerry

Thirteen

This weekend was the first time I bumped up the time from just five minutes to near about ten.

I must say, doubling the time allowed for double the scattered thoughts to manage. I noticed that it was very hard to release my thoughts and just Be with myself at around the 3/4ths mark.

I have no real measure of exact minutes because I tend to just set my alarm and share that time. What would be the point if I were constantly checking the clock to see where I was when I was?

I am very excited to continue working my time up and growing, in kind.

What a beautiful day. Thank you Spring.

Thank you Self.

-Gerry

Day Ten

Another busy day brings me to posting in the evening.

I have been thoroughly enjoying my morning time with myself.

I have been telling everyone I know about the five minutes that I give myself. And how it enriches my soul.

Daily.

This marks the tenth day of enjoying myself in a new way, and it seems that the more I do, the less I can find the words to express the way it makes me feel.

It isn't something spectacularly beautiful, like an explosion in the sky.

It is more like a gem or crystal that I get to peer into: majestic in its simplicity and smallness.

It is very much a continuum; I pick up where I left off from the day before, and it takes my breath away for a moment.

It is so easy to forget myself in the infinite images of the world around me.

Good thing I give myself a reminder.

I AM Gerry

End of the Eigth Day

In spending the time with my self every day, I have come to enjoy time with others so much more.

Time to rest.

-Gerry

The Sixth Time

Today, I was incredibly distracted through the entire time with myself.

I recently learned that a friend of mine's father passed this past week. With the funeral on Tuesday, I have so many thoughts running through my head.

I could not clear my mind and focus at all. It felt exactly like when my father passed, so many years ago.

I let it go through its course. I didn't try to throw away the ideas and thoughts that were flooding my mind, detracting me from my time with myself... I just let them go for a moment. So many ideas, and words, and thoughts, all of them vying for the attention of my consciousness.

By the end of the five minutes, I had been able to give myself that moment that I was aiming for. It was a very beautiful moment, because that is exactly how grief works.

Sometimes you just have to let things run their course before you can do what is needed.

-Gerry

Day Four? Day Five?

I missed and update yesterday because of the commotion of my son's birthday party at my grandfather's house. Felix was born today, the 23rd of March, last year... Marking today as his first birthday! 

I still took the time to myself in the mirror both yestermorning and today.

I noticed a new thought that would come into my mind. Instead of being distracted by thoughts of the days past and the things to be done today, my mind thought to compliment me.

"You are looking so much better than last year."

In noticing my own physique, and feeling the satisfaction of a noticeable difference, I was enthralled.

Then, back to myself.

Because I am here, now. And spending happy time with yourself is so incredible.

And it is getting easier and easier to just spend some time with myself. I think that I will be able to push the time to ten minutes soon!

Be Well,
-Gerry